Tuesday, June 10, 2008

dear so and so part deux...

since the beginning there has been a magnetic pull...the unchanging variable of the desire for proximity...
...i remember when you first really registered in my mind...i barely knew you...but sitting on the edge of your couch i was drawn. the pull to be near you was overwhelming. leaning on your shoulder not out of necessity but with avidity.
you leaned into it, and let our knees touch under the table with anomalous intimacy...
i can't recall when i started loving you...but at this point can't extract a time when i didn't...
it was rocky from the jump and we justified our fervent desire by ensuring one another that each uneven part of the path could only forge a stronger connection...
"if we can last through this we can get through anything"
...and we subsisted...which given our individual circumstances is a prodigious feat...
..and now we are on the other side of the aforementioned struggles with the supposed and collectively gained superpowers to overcome anything...
except...
...our predisposed tendencies remain...
perhaps it wasn't outside forces after all...because the quiet after the storm still carries on it the whisper of extirpation...
but i have rapaciously resisted our demise...and weary from battle i finally pause...glance around and realize i have fought my way alone...you have vacated the premises...so here i am...
...suspended without harness, vast precipice beneath me, missing one shoe, waiting for the other shoe to drop (your grasp is inches from my reach)...you listlessly extend toward me..."sorry..." your eyes say as you turn...
i acquiesce...resolute in my surrender, close my eyes and free fall...knowing that the other shoe has, in fact, dropped and remembering that being barefoot isn't so bad after all...especially with feet as pulchritudinous as mine...

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