Wednesday, September 10, 2008

side-swiped...

My spiritual and emotional coding requires me to surrender to the consistent presence of timing and placement. I have accepted the situations in my past where I have been a little ‘off’ in my choices. I allow these circumstances to absorb into my artillery and give me the strength that is necessary for the recognition of my higher purpose. I keep returning to the line, assuming position, and firing hoping that this time I might be more on point. And like all things we frequent my aim gets better…meaning the degree from which I am off my desired mark lessens each time I strike.

There have been those targets from time to time who from the first look have an affect. That without effort or necessary intention place themselves within my sites. And from this anomalous draw we line up perfectly without any question of purpose. These types of interactions aren’t frequent but hold the kind of weight that is epic in result. We speak the same language, with or without words, and with a fervor that is inspirational by recognition.

[From the first time I saw you I recognized a light in you that you weren’t even fully aware of at the time. And your brilliance, though hidden from the untrained eye, was apparent to me. But at that time we were both distracted. Both still drowning in patterns of the downward spiral. Time passed. But interactions such as ours, that elapse on the core level, always resurface from the subaqueous depths. By the next time we crossed paths we had developed the tools to breathe out of water. And with our new found capacity we had the ability for synchronal exchange.
The thing about our collaboration is the way my ears take in your words is as intimate as the way my mouth translates your kiss. So I am transformed. So the shifting of our direction didn’t alter the profundity.
This is proof that patterns change. Because I don’t need anything from you. I don’t attach any of my old expectations of the “now what”. There is only the now. And the knowledge that some people are meant to be. Not to be ‘this’ or be ‘that’…but just be. We interface on common ground.
I express sentiment without expectation. And you understand that intimacy comes in many forms. And although we don’t engage on the physical level…we hold depth beyond the flesh. And it is with that emotional ravine we can connect and share the force that comes from this expression.]

To disavow the existence of such epochal sentiments would compromise the authentic exposure that comes from allowing truth and integration to be my guiding force. I am humbled in the appearance of such dynamism. And I acquiesce to the truth that is revealed. I am unfastened from my patterning and disengaged from my barriers.

With this comes the human condition to fear such emotional and spiritual nudity. And I am, at times, like a deer in headlights staring blankly at my new found ‘rawness’. The transformation has not been subtle. In fact I feel as though I’ve been side-swiped. But in the end (not that there is an end to such a journey) I can glance in the rear-view mirror and then revert my eyes forward with the knowledge that the minor damage is covered. A full coverage insurance policy underwritten by the divine. This allows my sight to maintain clarity. And I remain stripped to my core with the knowledge that my fortification comes from this deeper place.